Date: April 22, 2025
Author: Jamie Patterson

I’ve been avoiding this for so long, I don’t even know where to start. It feels like a weight on my chest, and every time I try to breathe, it just gets heavier. I haven’t done a single assignment for any of my classes this semester, and here we are, two weeks before everything ends. Two weeks. I don’t know what I was expecting—maybe a miracle to swoop in and somehow make everything okay. But I’ve dug myself into this hole, and now I’m stuck, too ashamed to ask for help and too terrified of facing the consequences.

The last time I went to class was back in February. The second I realized I couldn’t keep up, I just stopped going. And it was easy at first—just one class, then two, and soon enough, I wasn’t attending any of them. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it was more like I couldn’t bring myself to care. My attention span has been non-existent, my mind constantly wandering to other things—anything but the work piling up in front of me.

I’d wake up, think about how I should get my life together, hype myself up, tell myself this would be the day I’d fix it. But it never happened. I’d sit at my desk, stare at the assignments, and then just give up. The weight of all the unfinished work made me feel like I was drowning in it.

Last week, I tried again. For a moment, I thought, “Okay, this is it. I can do it. I’ll chip away at the work. It’s not too late.” But I quickly realized, I can’t. I don’t have the energy, the motivation, or the focus. And the worst part? I just feel so fucking guilty, like a complete failure. I know I could have done better, and I know I should have put in the effort earlier, but here I am, staring down the barrel of the semester’s end, with nothing to show for it.

I’m ashamed. I’m scared of what will happen when everything catches up with me. I keep imagining how my parents are going to react when they find out, or how my professors will feel when they see how much I’ve neglected. I feel like I’ve let everyone down, especially myself.

I know I’m running out of time, and I know I should try to salvage something, but I just… I don’t know where to start anymore. The task feels impossible now. And honestly? I’m exhausted.