Date: April 27, 2025
Author: Cassandra Mills
I never thought I’d find myself in this situation, but here we are. I somehow ended up developing a crush on a married coworker, and it’s messing with my head more than I ever thought it would.
It didn’t even start as a crush. In the beginning, I just felt uncomfortable around him — like my body sensed something my brain wasn’t ready to admit. But over time, those weird nerves turned into full-on attraction, and now it’s something I can’t ignore no matter how much I wish I could.
The worst part? Avoiding him is practically impossible. Our jobs are intertwined enough that we have to interact regularly. I do my best to distance myself when we’re in the office, but it’s tricky. When we’re working remotely, it’s easier. The screen gives me a barrier. I can focus on the work and forget how much just being near him stirs everything up inside me.
But when we’re physically present in the office? It’s brutal. I try to stay professional, keep conversations short, but people notice. They think I’m shy or awkward and try to “help” by encouraging me to open up more, to interact more. It’s honestly the opposite of what I need. Every time they push me toward him, it feels like I’m battling myself all over again.
There’s a guilt too — even though I haven’t acted on anything and never will. I feel gross for even having these feelings in the first place. He’s married. He’s not available. He’s someone else’s person. I tell myself that over and over. It doesn’t erase the feelings, but at least it keeps me from making any choices I’d regret.
Mostly, I’m just trying to keep my head down and survive this phase. Hoping that one day soon, this crush will fade into nothingness, and I’ll look back on it and barely even remember why I ever felt this way.
