April 28, 2025
by Maya Winters
At 20, I was sexually assaulted by a guy I had just started dating. I had never been with anyone before, so it was all new to me. I feel stupid for not running, for not screaming. But the truth is, I froze. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak.
That moment led to a five-year relationship where I felt more and more trapped. It wasn’t just once. It happened again and again. He’d tell me he couldn’t control himself, that he needed sex, that it wasn’t fair for me to say no. I didn’t even have the energy to argue anymore because I knew it wouldn’t matter.
The physical marks were there. Bruises that looked like handprints, bruises that covered my legs. But the emotional toll was even worse. I lost all my friends. My family didn’t support me, and to this day, the few people who stayed still don’t truly believe what I went through.
I sometimes feel like I’m just stuck in this loop of trying to convince people that my pain is real. But it’s not about them, is it? It’s about me. It’s about learning that what happened wasn’t my fault, no matter how many times I tell myself that.
