Date: April 29, 2025

Author: Sarah Mitch

It’s hard to admit, but I think I’m relieved that he’s pushing me away. I know it sounds wrong, but I can’t shake the feeling of relief that’s washed over me these past few months.

I’m 28, and I’ve been with my partner for four years. We have two beautiful children together, and for a long time, everything felt right. But lately, it’s been like a slow fade. The hugs, the kisses, the connection—we had it all, or so I thought. Now? There’s nothing. It’s like I’m reaching out, trying to grasp something that isn’t there anymore. I initiate everything—no more affection, no more intimacy unless I’m the one to make the first move.

I’ve seen him pull away. At first, I tried to convince myself it was just a phase, maybe stress, maybe work. But as the months went on, I realized that this wasn’t a phase. This was him slowly falling out of love, and no matter how much I begged or tried to fix it, he was drifting further away.

It hurts, but there’s a strange peace in it now. I’m not used to this. I’m used to obsessing over relationships, over how much love I’m getting or not getting. Maybe it’s because of the way my mother was—her love felt conditional, distant. So, I guess I built myself around the people I loved, needing them in ways that often weren’t healthy. When my partner started pulling away, I went into a spiral of confusion and hurt, thinking I wasn’t enough, that maybe I was failing him, failing us.

But now, there’s a shift. The more he pushes me away, the more I’m realizing that I don’t need him to be whole. It’s like I’ve been holding my breath, waiting for him to return, but I’ve been forgetting to breathe on my own. I’ve slowly stopped sharing as much with him, stopped trying to fix something that he doesn’t seem to want fixed. And in doing that, I feel like I’m starting to find myself again.

I’m learning to focus on me, to remember that I’m more than just the person I am in this relationship. I’m not just a wife, a partner, a mother. I’m Sarah. And for the first time in a long time, I’m starting to feel like that’s enough.

I’m relieved because it’s forcing me to look inward and take care of myself in a way I haven’t in years. I know it’s not easy, and it’s not perfect, but I’m starting to realize that maybe this space is what I need to rebuild and grow into someone who isn’t defined by anyone else’s love or approval.

I don’t know what the future holds for me and my partner, but I do know that right now, I’m finding the strength to focus on myself. And for once, that feels like the right thing to do.