April 25, 2025
By: Tyler Mendoza

I’m not gonna lie—I’ve done some messed up things. Petty, immature, probably even cruel if you really think about it. But in the moment, it all felt like a game. A way to prove a point. A way to get even.

A while back, my friend—let’s call him D—used to clown me all the time. “You ain’t got no girls,” he’d say, like it was some kind of achievement to constantly be in a relationship. I wasn’t even looking. I was cool being single, but he made it sound like that made me less of a man. It got under my skin more than I wanted to admit.

So one day, I snapped. I hit up his girlfriend. She responded. One night turned into something else, and yeah—I ended up taking her from him. I didn’t plan it that way, but it happened. We lasted a few months. She was dope, actually. Sweet, real, loyal in a way that made me think twice. And when we ended, it hurt. More than I expected.

Then a few days ago, D said something again. This time it was about Fortnite of all things. “You’re trash,” he said, laughing like it was all jokes. And I don’t know what came over me. But I did it again. Different girl, same ending. She’s with me now.

And I’m sitting here wondering—what the hell am I even doing?

It’s not about the girls, not really. It’s about proving to him, and maybe to myself, that I’m not some guy to look down on. But it’s also kind of messed up, right? These are real people. Real emotions. And I’m playing king of the hill like this is middle school.

Am I a bad person? I don’t know. I’d like to think I’m not. But I’ve definitely made some selfish choices. And every win I’ve had? It’s felt hollow. Like a high that wears off too fast.

Maybe it’s time to stop trying to win the petty battles and start figuring out what I’m really chasing. Because I don’t think it’s about the girls. I think it’s about respect. And I’m starting to see that earning it might take more than revenge.