April 27, 2025
By: Jessica Moore
I’ve always believed that life is about second chances, but sometimes, those chances come and go in the blink of an eye. I was 23 when I met him — Evan. He was everything I’d ever wanted in a man. Smart, funny, kind-hearted. He had this effortless confidence, yet a soft side that he only showed to those he trusted. And I… I was so insecure.
At the time, I thought he was out of my league. I didn’t think someone like him would ever want someone like me. My fears kept me from taking a risk, from letting myself fully enjoy the connection we shared. We’d spend hours talking, laughing, connecting. But I was always too scared to make the first move, to say the things I was really feeling. So, I let it slip away, thinking that maybe I just wasn’t enough for someone like him.
I settled, eventually, for someone who made me feel secure in a way — but not in the way I’d wanted. Michael, my husband now, was safe. He was steady, dependable. But he never ignited the spark in me the way Evan did. We had two children, and I convinced myself that I could be happy with what I had. That I’d made the right choice. That maybe I didn’t need that passion, that connection, that “thing” with Evan anymore.
But deep down, I never stopped thinking about him. There wasn’t a week that went by where I didn’t think of what could have been. I’d scroll through social media, and I’d see his face pop up now and then — not just in memories, but in real-time. One day, by chance, we reconnected. We were both older, wiser, and life had thrown its fair share of curveballs our way. I hesitated at first, unsure of whether it was a good idea, but then we started talking again.
And that’s when I found out something that stung more than I could have imagined. He was interested in me, too. All those years ago, he’d felt the same way I did. But like me, he had been too shy to do anything about it. We were both waiting for the other to make the first move, and in the end, we both just let it slip away.
I know, deep down, that I messed up. I missed my chance with him, and now it’s too late. He’s moved on, just as I have, but I still carry that regret. The thought of what could have been, what I could have had, nags at me constantly. It’s not that I don’t love Michael or that I regret my family, but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to take that leap with Evan, to not let my insecurities control my decisions.
To anyone reading this, please take this lesson to heart: never settle for something that doesn’t set your soul on fire. If you have a dream, a person who makes your heart race, don’t let fear hold you back. You are worthy of being loved, and you are worthy of feeling that love in its truest, most exhilarating form. I didn’t understand it back then, but I do now.
Maybe someday I’ll look back on this and laugh, but for now, I just wish I had been brave enough to take that leap when I had the chance.
Author: Jessica Moore
