Date: April 23, 2025
Author: Ethan Brooks

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a little while now. She’s sweet, kind, and always knows how to make me smile. It’s easy to fall for her warmth. But lately, I’ve started feeling a little… uncertain. It’s nothing obvious, nothing that would make me think she’s deliberately trying to hurt me. It’s more of a subtle, nagging feeling that I can’t shake off.

Maybe it’s just me overthinking things. I’ve been through a lot in my past, where people have made me question my own reality—manipulated me until I didn’t know what was true anymore. Gaslighting, if you will. And because of that, I’m constantly second-guessing myself, always wondering if someone’s being genuine with me or if there’s something beneath the surface that I’m not seeing.

I can’t help but feel like that’s happening now, even in my relationship. She’ll say things, little things, that make me feel like I’m not doing enough, or that I should be something more than I am. At first, I brushed it off, thinking it was just her being thoughtful or trying to encourage me. But over time, it started to feel more like pressure.

For example, when we’re talking about the future, she’ll say things like, “I just want us to be closer, you know? Like, we should be spending more time together.” And I agree—we should spend time together—but then I start feeling like it’s something I have to do, like it’s not a suggestion but a silent expectation. It’s small, and she’s always so sweet about it, but sometimes it feels like there’s this unspoken demand behind her words. I start thinking, “If I don’t do this, am I failing her? Am I failing our relationship?”

It’s not just that, though. It’s when she says, “I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to do this for me, I thought we were on the same page.” I can’t help but feel like I’m being cornered. I want to please her, I really do, but I also want to be true to myself. And when I start questioning whether my boundaries are being respected or whether I’m just being manipulated in a way that I can’t even recognize, it becomes harder to trust what’s real.

I think maybe it’s just a pattern I’ve been conditioned to recognize, even if it’s not as obvious now. But it makes me feel unsure of where I stand. I don’t want to accuse her of anything; I don’t want to doubt her when she’s always been so caring and loving. But sometimes, I wonder if I’m just too cautious from the past, or if there’s a deeper layer I’m not seeing.

I don’t know what to do, honestly. I wish I could just ask her, but I’m afraid that even bringing it up will make me seem paranoid or like I’m overreacting. I don’t want to lose her or make things awkward. I just want to feel sure again, to know that what she says is as genuine as I want to believe it is. And yet, sometimes, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something else—something hidden in plain sight.