By: Sarah Jensen

April 27, 2025

There’s this strange, quiet pain I carry with me every day. I’ve always tried to be a kind person, someone who’s there for others, no matter what. But no matter how hard I try, it seems like people only see the worst in me. They call me selfish, useless, and someone who’s just a little too much to deal with. I don’t let it show, but it hurts. It really does. It breaks me down, little by little, when I see them whispering to my friends, laughing together, while I stand at the edges, invisible.

I know they don’t get it. They don’t understand how hard I try to fit in or how much I wish they would just see me for who I really am. But they don’t. They never do. It feels like I’ve been forgotten, like I don’t belong. I’m just a shadow in their eyes. A part of me wonders if they even remember I’m there, existing with them, every day.

What really gets to me, though, is how they look at my friends—people they trust, people they follow. They see my friends as leaders, as role models. They choose them, and I’m left behind, always watching from the sidelines. But what they don’t know is that the reason my friends did so well in class is because of me. I gave them the answers. I helped them get those marks. But not a single one of them knows it. I wasn’t looking for praise or recognition, but I do wonder, if they only knew, would they still look at me the same way? Or would they finally realize that I had a hand in their success?

It wasn’t right, I know. It wasn’t a good choice, but it was the only choice I felt like I had. The pressure was too much, and the weight of feeling invisible was unbearable. I never meant to hurt anyone, especially my friends. They don’t deserve any of this. But the world—this world—has a way of pushing you into corners and forcing you to make decisions you don’t want to make.

I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I still feel like I need to say it. I wish the world were kinder, that it didn’t break me down bit by bit, until there was nothing left but a broken, invisible version of myself. Maybe someday, things will change. Maybe I’ll finally be seen. But for now, all I can do is keep trying, even when it feels like no one cares.

– Sarah Jensen