Date: April 27, 2025
Author: Riley Thompson

I’ve been thinking about this person for so long now, and it feels impossible to just shake them out of my mind. We met through an online game months ago, and I never thought much of it at first. Just another random person to talk to, someone to team up with for a game or two. But slowly, things began to shift. Our conversations started to mean more to me than I ever expected, and before I knew it, I was spending every free moment thinking about them.

It’s strange, because we’ve never even met in person. Heck, we’ve never even seen each other’s faces. There’s this wall between us—a barrier that I know can never be crossed. They live in another part of the world, and the chances of us ever meeting are slim to none. Still, every time I sign into that game, there’s this sense of anticipation, like maybe today will be different. But it’s never different.

They’re in a committed relationship too, and I get it. It should be a clear sign that I have no place in their world, and yet I can’t help how I feel. They’re so different from me, from our beliefs to our personalities. I don’t know if it’s the way we clash, or the little arguments that pop up, but there’s something about them that sticks with me. I’ll find myself getting frustrated, only to realize that in the end, I’m still drawn to them. It’s like there’s this pull that I can’t explain.

At first, I told myself it was just an infatuation. A silly, fleeting feeling that would go away once the novelty wore off. But it’s been months now, and it hasn’t faded. If anything, it’s only gotten stronger, more persistent. I try to distract myself, but their presence in my thoughts never fully goes away.

I know there’s no future for us. We’re worlds apart, and I’ve tried distancing myself—stepping back, keeping my distance, hoping that time would help. But even then, I find myself checking in on them, hoping they’re doing okay. It’s like this invisible thread, pulling me back in every time I try to cut it.

It feels wrong to be this attached to someone I’ll never meet. And I’m fully aware that they likely don’t feel the same way, at least not in the way I do. They have their own life, their own relationship. And yet, here I am, stuck in a feeling that doesn’t make sense.

I don’t know where this is going. I don’t even know if it’s love or just some kind of deep infatuation that I’ve let spiral out of control. All I know is that these thoughts, this feeling, has consumed me in a way that I never imagined.