April 21, 2025
by Nora Steele

I feel kind of terrible admitting this, but it’s been on my mind for a while now, and I’m not sure how to process it. I think I have a bit of a crush on my friend, but not in the way you’d expect. It’s not like I’m dreaming about them or imagining some future together. But every time we’re together, I get this flutter in my chest. This kind of warmth that spreads all the way to my face. You know that feeling when you’re around someone and everything feels a little bit… different?

It’s not like I’m obsessed or anything. It’s more like, every time they laugh, or when our conversations feel like they just flow effortlessly, I catch myself thinking, Wow, I wish I could be with them in a different world where things were simpler. It’s not even about wanting to break them up or be the one they choose—it’s more that I admire them, and I just can’t help the way my heart does that little flip when they’re near.

The thing is, they’re in a committed relationship, and that’s what makes me feel like such a terrible person. I feel guilty for even having these thoughts. I don’t want to be that person who undermines their relationship or makes things awkward between us. But sometimes, when we’re hanging out, I can’t help but feel something. I try to shake it off, to remind myself that they’re happy with their partner and that I’m just overthinking it. I don’t want to make things weird or lose the friendship over something that doesn’t even mean much in the grand scheme of things.

So, here I am—feeling like a bad friend, wishing my heart didn’t get all tangled up, but also not knowing how to make the feeling go away. All I can do is keep it to myself, but sometimes it’s hard to ignore.