Date: April 23, 2025
Author: Lucas Armstrong

Lately, I’ve been feeling something I can’t quite put my finger on. My girlfriend is amazing—so sweet, caring, thoughtful. But there’s this nagging feeling inside me that maybe, just maybe, things aren’t as straightforward as they seem. I’ve been through my fair share of manipulation in the past, and I think it’s left me with this instinct to second-guess everything, even when I really don’t want to.

The thing is, I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose. There’s no malicious intent. She’s not overtly trying to control me or make me feel bad. But there are times when she says things that, in retrospect, feel a little off. Almost like they’re pushing me in a direction I wasn’t ready to go—or sometimes, making me feel like I’m not doing enough.

For example, a few days ago, we were talking about something simple, like plans for the weekend. I mentioned I wanted to spend some time working on a personal project I’ve been putting off, and she kind of paused before saying, “You know, I was really hoping we could spend more time together. It’s been a while since we’ve done something just the two of us.”

At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal. She’s just expressing her feelings, right? But something in the way she said it made me feel like I had to choose between her and my project. It wasn’t like she outright demanded I choose her over my work, but the way it was phrased made me feel guilty for even considering my own thing over spending time with her.

It’s those little things that build up over time. She’ll say things like, “You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?” or “I just thought you’d want to do this for me because you love me.” It’s not so obvious that I can directly call it manipulation, but the undertones are there. It’s like she’s framing it in a way that makes me feel like I should be doing what she wants, even if I’m not entirely comfortable with it.

I’ve learned over the years to trust my gut, and my gut is telling me that there’s a part of me being pushed into decisions I haven’t fully made. I don’t want to accuse her of anything, because she’s honestly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. But these subtle pressures keep me on edge. I feel like I’m constantly walking on a tightrope, balancing between her happiness and my own.

Maybe it’s just me overthinking, or maybe I’m just hyper-aware of the manipulation I’ve experienced in the past, but I can’t help but wonder—how much of this is real? How much of what she says is genuinely about her feelings, and how much of it is about controlling the situation in ways that make me feel like I’m the one always compromising?

I want to talk to her about it, but I’m scared of making things awkward. What if I’m just being paranoid? What if she really just wants to spend time together and I’m overanalyzing it? I just don’t know anymore. It’s like I’m stuck between trusting my instincts and not wanting to make something out of nothing.