April 23, 2025
By: Alex Rivera

I’ve spent years trying to fit into shapes that weren’t meant for me. I’ve shaped myself, reshaped myself, bent myself until I broke—just to get a little peace, just to get a little acceptance. But here’s the thing: no one ever tried with me. Not really.

They told me to change, to be someone else. Someone more palatable. Someone easier to love. But no one ever stopped to ask, “Who are you really?” They never wanted to know, because the truth would’ve been too much to handle.

So, I did what I always do. I coped. I masked the pain, plastered on a smile, and let the hurt become a part of me. I don’t even remember when it started—this process of cutting parts of myself away to fit into everyone else’s idea of what I should be. But I can tell you this much: it never worked. No matter how much I changed, it was never enough.

And somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to please people. I started thinking: why force me to be different from what I am? Why should I keep twisting into something I’m not just so they can be comfortable with me?

I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for the weight of their expectations, the endless disappointment, the suffocating silence when I showed up as myself and got nothing in return. All I ever wanted was understanding. But no one ever looked close enough to see who I really was.

If I could embrace my truest nature, the one that’s been buried beneath all the masks and the fake smiles, I think I’d finally be free. And honestly? Scorched earth would be my answer. Because once you strip everything away—once you get to the heart of who I am—there’s no going back.

It’s not anger. It’s clarity. It’s the realization that I don’t have to apologize for being who I am. The world can deal with it, or it can burn. But at least I’ll be standing in the ashes, unbroken, unapologetic.