April 25, 2025
by Vanessa Leigh Ford

Growing up, we didn’t have much. Every dollar counted, and every little setback felt huge. I made a promise to myself back then — that I would work hard, get educated, and build a life where money wasn’t a constant source of stress or shame. I wanted better, not just for me, but for my future kids too. I don’t ever want them to feel embarrassed or small because of how much, or how little, we had.

And in a lot of ways, I’ve stuck to that promise. I built my own business from scratch. It’s not perfect yet, but it’s growing. It feels good to be able to say that.

But then there’s my sister.

She married a guy who doesn’t really believe in working unless he has to. They float through life without a plan, without savings, and when the money runs dry, it’s crisis mode all over again. I’ve tried to talk to her so many times, tried to explain that life can be more than just surviving from week to week… but she doesn’t listen. She doesn’t want to.

And I hate that part of me feels weighed down by her choices. It feels selfish even thinking that, but it’s the truth. I want both of us to move forward, to break out of the cycle we were born into. To build something real, something stable.

Instead, it feels like I’m pulling as hard as I can, and she’s letting herself drift further away.

I love her. I always will. But sometimes love isn’t enough to fix the paths people choose for themselves.