April 25, 2025
by Emily Jane Davis

To be honest, I’m kind of jealous of my little cousin. She’s everything I could never be. She’s the dream child everyone wishes for—the one who seems perfect in every way. My mom doesn’t compare me to her, probably because she knows I struggle with depression. But if they didn’t know about my battles, I have this sinking feeling that my mom would be the first to draw comparisons.

It’s hard not to feel inadequate when she’s the complete opposite of me. She’s so pretty, kind, cute, and smart—everything you’d want in a perfect student. On top of that, she has a lean body, a nice shape, and the kind of confidence I wish I could find. She’s not just a student; she’s the head prefect, the best student from the very first year of school right up until middle school. She’s always been on top.

I know we’re five years apart, but it feels like she’s lightyears ahead of me. I feel stupid and ashamed sitting next to her. It’s like I’m watching her achieve everything I could never get a hold of, and I can’t help but feel like I’m just fading into the background.

She’s heading to a prestigious and top boarding school soon, and every time my mom talks about it to her colleagues, she beams with pride. I’m happy for my cousin, but it stings, you know? It feels like no matter how hard I try, I’m always going to be in her shadow, and I don’t know how to escape it.