April 28, 2025
by Liana Cruz

Back in December, my partner cheated on me.

I’ve been trying so hard to move past it — to forgive, to rebuild what we had — but if I’m being honest, I’m still so full of resentment. I love them. God, I love them so much it hurts. But there’s this heavy weight sitting on my chest every time I think about what they did. Every time I look at them and remember that they chose someone else, even for a moment.

And now, I feel like a hypocrite.

There’s this coworker I can’t stop thinking about lately. Nothing’s happened — I’ve never acted on it — but the thoughts are there, creeping in when I least expect it. I catch myself wondering what it would be like to be with someone new, someone who hasn’t hurt me.

The guilt is unbearable.

I can’t tell anyone around me because it feels like such a betrayal. It’s like I’m the bad guy now too, even though I’ve kept everything in my head and nothing more. Still, it’s eating me alive, and I don’t know how to carry it.

Maybe I’m just broken. Maybe the trust we lost never really came back, and now I’m searching for something that feels whole again — even if it’s just in a daydream.