By Alexis Turner
April 28, 2025
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships—about how they start with so much promise but always seem to fall apart when life gets complicated. It’s like a pattern I can’t escape. We start off on the right foot, bonding over shared laughs and deep talks, and then, without warning, things just fall apart. It’s always when my own life gets tough, when I’m dealing with my own problems, that I start to feel like I’m no longer part of their bubble. They move on, and I’m left behind, still clinging to the memories of a friendship that used to mean something.
And it’s not just that I feel left out. The real kicker is that I’m the kind of person who always tries to make others feel special. I’ll buy thoughtful gifts, go out of my way to make sure people know I care, and yet, I never seem to get that same energy in return. It’s like I’m constantly giving and giving, but when I need something in return—like support or attention—I get crickets.
Take my best friend, for example. She got married recently, and while I was happy for her, I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by how things turned out. She reached out to me only to ask for money to cover alterations for her wedding dress. Sure, it wasn’t exactly a huge favor, but I did it because that’s just who I am. I want to support my friends, even when it means stretching myself a little thin. But after that, it was like I didn’t exist. I tried to make plans with her a couple of weeks after the wedding, thinking she’d want to catch up and maybe unwind from all the wedding chaos. Instead, I got a flat “no,” no explanation, no “I’m too busy,” just a refusal.
What stings the most is that it wasn’t even like I was asking for anything huge. I wasn’t asking her to be there for me in some monumental way, just a simple “let’s hang out.” But apparently, I wasn’t a priority anymore. It’s like she got what she needed from me—money, support—and then once she had what she wanted, I became an afterthought.
It’s frustrating. It’s exhausting. I want to believe in friendships and connections, but when they always seem to fade when you need them most, it’s hard not to wonder if they were ever real to begin with. I know I can’t keep pouring my heart into people who don’t do the same for me, but it’s hard to let go when I genuinely care about them. Still, I’m starting to realize that maybe I need to start putting my own needs first. Maybe it’s time to stop chasing people who aren’t chasing me back.
Maybe friends aren’t supposed to be this hard. Maybe I’m just tired of trying so hard and getting so little in return. But for now, I’m going to focus on taking care of myself and not putting all my energy into people who don’t seem to care as much as I do.
