Date: April 28, 2025
Author: Sarah Mitchell
You know when people ask you what you’re scared of? I always hesitate before answering. I don’t know why it’s so hard to say, but when I think about it, the real answer isn’t ghosts or anything supernatural. I’m not afraid of the usual stuff. What really scares me is being alone. And not in the sense of being by myself for a few hours or days, but that deep, overwhelming feeling of being completely alone—without anyone to share space with, to make me feel like I’m not the only one in the world.
I know it sounds a little odd. Like, how can anyone really be afraid of something as simple as being alone? But the thing is, it’s not the solitude itself that gets to me. It’s the way my mind starts running wild when I’m alone. All those “what ifs” come rushing in like a storm. The thoughts that scare me, the doubts, the things I can’t shake off. They’re always there, lurking, waiting for a moment when there’s no distraction, no one around to take my mind off it.
The silence in those moments? It feels suffocating. It’s like my brain can’t keep up with the weight of all the thoughts that flood in. I try to push them away, but they keep coming back, stronger each time. I find myself asking, “What if I never find peace? What if I end up alone forever? What if everyone leaves?” The fear starts to spiral and suddenly, I’m trapped in my own mind, spiraling into these endless thoughts.
I know I’m not supposed to rely on others to fill that void, but it’s just so hard not to. Sometimes, I just need someone to be there. It doesn’t matter if they talk to me or not, I just need their presence. It’s like when someone’s around, it’s easier to ignore those dark thoughts, to just focus on the now. The quiet seems less frightening when you’re not the only one in the room.
I don’t even need to be having a conversation—I just want someone to exist in the same space as me. I guess it’s a comfort thing. Being alone, really alone, leaves me feeling so vulnerable. Like there’s too much space for my mind to wander into places I don’t want to go.
So, I try to keep busy. I try to fill my days with things and people, just to keep my mind from running wild. But when I’m by myself, even for just a short while, I feel this weight that I can’t shake off. And then I wonder—will I ever be okay being alone? Or is this fear something that’ll always haunt me?
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. There’s got to be more people out there who understand what I mean. But sometimes, it feels like I’m the only one who can’t handle the silence. I guess that’s why I hesitate when people ask me what I’m scared of. The answer is too much to say aloud.
