Date: April 20, 2025
Author: Jasmine O’Neill

I never imagined I’d be the one practically begging someone to start a family with me. But here I am—married for five years, financially stable, emotionally ready, and constantly being met with excuses or silence anytime I bring it up.

My husband? He keeps dodging the baby conversation like it’s a tax bill. “Now’s not the right time,” or “Let’s enjoy life a bit more.” I’ve heard it all. And sure, I get that timing matters—but how long am I supposed to wait? Until I’m too old? Until he maybe decides he’s ready?

The wild part? There’s this guy—someone I’ve known for a while—who’s made it very clear he’s into me. He’s attractive, kind, ambitious, and weirdly obsessed with the idea of being a dad. Every time he flirts, it gets harder to ignore the voice in my head whispering, “What if?”

I haven’t done anything. But I won’t lie: the thought has crossed my mind more than once. Like, what if I just… let go of the waiting, the pleading, the emotional exhaustion? What if I stopped trying to convince someone who clearly doesn’t share my dream?

I know that sounds crazy. And maybe it is. But when your heart is aching for something so deeply, and the person you chose to share your life with keeps shutting the door… you start wondering what life would look like if you walked away from that door entirely.

I haven’t made any decisions. Yet. But I’m tired. So tired.