Author: Emma Harris
Date: April 27, 2025
I’ve been living with a neuromuscular condition for as long as I can remember. It’s a part of me, something I’ve never known life without. And while I’ve learned to manage it, accept it, and push through its challenges, there’s one thing I’ve never quite been able to shake—romantic loneliness.
I’m in my early 20s now, and as much as I try to keep moving forward, I feel this deep, constant yearning for love. I’ve always been a romantic at heart, dreaming of finding someone to share my life with, to hold my hand through the good and bad. But it feels like that dream is so far out of reach. My condition, the limitations it imposes, and the uncertainty of how much time I have left make me feel like a lost cause in the world of dating.
I struggle with the guilt of wanting a partner, especially when I feel like I’m asking for something that’s almost impossible. I know it’s natural to crave connection, but there’s this persistent voice in my head telling me that I’m asking for too much. It’s hard to reconcile the fact that I want someone to love me, to share my life, but I fear that no one will ever see me in that light—not with all the complications I carry with me.
The reality is, there’s no room for me in the dating pool. At least, that’s how it feels. I’ve seen how relationships develop around me—healthy, carefree, and full of possibility. And then there’s me, looking at it all from the outside, wondering if I’ll ever get that chance to be loved in the same way. I wonder if I’m just too different, too broken for anyone to want.
Some days I feel strong enough to push these feelings aside, to tell myself that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. But other days, it’s harder. The loneliness becomes overwhelming, and the dream of being loved feels like an impossible fantasy. It’s exhausting, this constant battle between accepting my reality and still wanting more.
I don’t know how much time I have left. I don’t know if there’s room in this life for love, for someone who can truly see me as I am and not be intimidated by what I carry. But I can’t help holding onto that dream, even if it feels impossible. Because despite everything, I believe in love. Even if it’s just a dream.
