By Emily Lancaster

April 27, 2025

I don’t even know where to start. It feels like every time I try to explain how I feel, the words get stuck in my throat. Maybe it’s because deep down, I know I’ll never be able to fully put it into words, how everything has changed. How everything felt before and how it feels now.

It’s crazy, really. I used to crave your attention like I couldn’t live without it. Every time my phone buzzed with a notification from you, my heart would race. I’d drop everything, pull up a cat video, or send you some random meme just to keep the conversation going. It didn’t matter if we talked about the silliest things, things that didn’t even make sense. I’d do anything to make sure you were still there. I loved those little moments, even if they didn’t lead anywhere. It was all I wanted—just a piece of you.

But then, everything changed. One minute, it was all texts and endless conversations, and the next, I was left with silence. You weren’t there anymore, and I wasn’t enough. I guess it’s funny how you can go from talking to someone every day to them becoming a stranger. I thought I’d never stop crying, but eventually, the tears dried up. It hurt like nothing I’d ever felt before, but somehow, I kept breathing.

Six months after we stopped talking, it felt like I had to live with this gaping hole in my chest. I couldn’t get rid of the memories. The nights we stayed up too late talking about everything and nothing. The mornings that felt like we were the only two people in the world. Even the stupid arguments that didn’t matter, because they somehow made us closer. All those things became ghosts that haunted me, even as I tried to move on. I couldn’t stop missing you.

But here I am now, one year later. And you’re not the person I thought you were. At some point, you stopped being the love of my life, and now you’re just… someone I used to know. It’s like the person I thought I’d never forget became a stranger overnight. I guess I didn’t realize how much of me I had given to you until you walked away when I needed you the most.

And that was it. I died inside that day. It wasn’t dramatic, but it was real. Something in me changed, and I haven’t been able to find it again. I thought I’d never get over you, but here I am, standing on the other side. Not healed, not fixed, but different. And somehow, you’re just a distant memory.

I don’t know if I’ll ever really get over it. But I’ve learned that sometimes, people aren’t meant to stay forever. And that’s okay.