April 25, 2025
by Marissa Joy Carter

Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about everything my parents gave up for me. The things they went without. The dreams they put on hold. And all I can feel is guilt.

I’m sorry, Mom and Dad. I’m sorry you had to sacrifice so much just to raise me. I’m sorry you worked yourselves to the bone, and I still turned out to be someone you’re probably disappointed in. I know you were just trying to help, to guide me, but sometimes I pushed back too hard. I got angry when you were just trying to joke around and lighten the mood. I acted like you were the enemy when you only ever wanted the best for me.

I know you didn’t have an easy life. I know adding me into the mix made things harder. I wasn’t some golden ticket to a better future — I was another burden. Another bill. Another worry. And I hate that.

If I could go back and be easier, be less expensive, be more grateful… I would. I’d do anything to take that weight off your shoulders. You both deserved better.

I just hope someday, somehow, I can find a way to make it up to you.