By Olivia Daniels
April 28, 2025
It feels like I can work two jobs and still have nothing to show for it. I’m always hustling, always grinding, but no matter how much I earn, it seems like the money just vanishes. And it’s not because I’m spending it on myself or living an extravagant lifestyle. It’s because it’s constantly going toward something else—something that feels just as important, but it still doesn’t make the situation any easier.
Take the $500 my dad gave me a few weeks ago. He said it was to help me pay for something important, something I’ve been stressing over for a while. I was so grateful, and I thought, “Okay, this will really help me take care of things.” But then, before I could even get a chance to use it for what it was intended, my partner asked me to use it for something else. It wasn’t a luxury or a want. It was for something we had to cover, but it still didn’t sit right with me. I had plans for that money, and now it was gone.
The worst part is that this keeps happening. It feels like I can never catch a break. Every time I think I’m ahead, I realize I’m just running in place. I was looking forward to a paycheck that I thought was all mine. I even made plans to invest some of it into the small business I’ve been trying to start on the side. It was going to be a real step forward. But then, out of nowhere, my partner didn’t get paid. His paycheck didn’t come through, and suddenly, I was the one responsible for covering our bills and rent. Every last bit of that paycheck went toward his side of things.
It’s not that I don’t want to help him. I love him, and I understand that sometimes things don’t go as planned. But I’m starting to feel like I’m always the one sacrificing, always the one stepping up. I’m trying so hard to make this business work, to build something for myself, but every time I think I’m about to make progress, something else pulls me back. It’s exhausting.
I know relationships are about compromise and supporting each other, but I’m feeling stretched thin. My dreams and goals feel so far away because every time I start to save up or put something aside, it ends up getting used for something that isn’t mine. I want to keep pushing forward, but I’m getting frustrated, and I can’t help but feel guilty about wanting to put myself first.
Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I just want a chance to breathe and build something that’s for me. I need to feel like I’m not always putting my future on hold to help fix things for someone else. It’s not that I want to turn my back, but I need to find balance. I can’t keep working and sacrificing everything without getting something back. I just want to feel like I have something of my own, even if it’s small.
I don’t know what the solution is yet. Maybe it’s about having a more open conversation with my partner or maybe it’s about finding ways to carve out space for my goals without feeling guilty. I just know that something needs to change because I can’t keep running in circles like this.
