Author: Emily Carter

Date: April 27, 2025

My birthday is coming up soon, and honestly, I can’t stop thinking about how it’s going to be just another mess. It feels like every year, something always goes wrong. I try to tell myself it’ll be different, but deep down, I know better. My friends never show up, no matter how many times I remind them or make plans. It’s like they forget or just don’t care enough to show. This year, I’m almost certain I’ll have to attend yet another family funeral, which feels like a horrible, cruel joke. It seems like every year, something takes priority over me.

And then there’s always something with my partner. We get into arguments, and by the time my birthday rolls around, we’re usually not even on speaking terms. I always end up feeling more alone than anything else. On top of all that, someone will inevitably tell me that I can’t celebrate because there’s something else—usually something bigger—happening around the same time. I can’t even remember the last birthday I had where I didn’t feel completely overlooked or unimportant.

I try to put on a brave face, but inside, I’m just dreading it. Every year, it feels like the universe is reminding me that my birthday doesn’t matter. That I don’t matter. I kind of wish that everyone would just forget about it this time. If it passed by unnoticed, maybe it would be easier than dealing with the disappointment of yet another messed-up celebration.

I hate that I feel this way. I know I should want to celebrate, to feel special for at least one day a year, but it just doesn’t seem possible. I’m exhausted from the cycle, and honestly, I’m just ready for it to be over before it even begins.