By: Lily Parsons

April 26, 2025

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately, and honestly, I’m lost. Everyone around me is so sure of what they want to do, especially when it comes to college. But me? I’m not so sure anymore. I’ve always been the type to follow the “traditional” path — go to high school, graduate, go to college, get a degree. But somewhere along the way, things just stopped feeling as important as they once did.

I’ve got this job now, and for the first time in a while, I feel like I’m finally doing something that makes me feel productive. The money isn’t great, but it’s enough for me to live on my own, pay rent, and buy some of the things I’ve wanted. I’m starting to build my own little world, one paycheck at a time. I get to make my own decisions, and there’s something empowering about that. The idea of being financially independent is exciting, but the problem is, I also feel like I’m just standing still. I’m stuck between this job I’ve been in for a while and the pressure to figure out what comes next.

I’ve considered college — don’t get me wrong, I know it’s probably the next logical step, but the thought of going back into that grind of classes, exams, and all the stress just seems so… draining. It feels like it would be a chore rather than an opportunity. And what if I go too late? What if I’m behind everyone else? I see people my age who are already well into their studies or even starting careers, and here I am, still figuring out how to balance this job with my life.

I wonder if I’m just scared of failing. What if college isn’t for me, or worse, what if I go, get a degree, and still end up stuck in a job that doesn’t feel meaningful?

I’ve talked to some people who tell me not to worry, that college will always be there, but I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m running out of time. It’s this constant battle between the freedom I have now and the fear of what I might be missing out on by not following the conventional route. I don’t want to regret not trying, but I also don’t want to look back and wish I hadn’t spent years of my life in something that wasn’t right for me.

At the end of the day, I just want to find something that feels like my own path — not one that’s been laid out for me by society or even by my family. I just don’t know what that is yet, and that’s the part that scares me the most.