By Natalie Carrington

April 27, 2025

So, I’ve found myself in a bit of a whirlwind. It all started at a school retreat—something that was supposed to be a break from the usual stress of college life. Little did I know, it would end up complicating things even more.

I was going through one of those emotional breakdown moments. You know, the kind where everything feels overwhelming, and you just want someone to listen, but no one does? I was a mess, and I was being that dramatic girl who just wanted to let it all out. I didn’t expect anyone to really understand, but there was this guy who, for some reason, decided to stay and listen.

We ended up talking for a while, and I think it was exactly what I needed. He listened, he didn’t judge, and he actually seemed like he cared. We hung out with his friends afterward, and the night just kind of spiraled into this emotional release for me. I cried a lot more than I thought I would, but somehow, I felt lighter afterward. When it was time to leave, I wasn’t so alone with my feelings anymore.

The next day, he checked in on me. It was such a simple thing, but it made me feel… better, like there was some kind of relief in knowing that someone noticed and cared. I appreciated it more than I probably let on. And then, there’s me—suddenly feeling like I want to thank him properly for being there when no one else was, but I don’t want to come off as weird or clingy. I don’t want to ruin whatever small bond we’ve just started building, but I also don’t want to let it slip away.

And that’s the thing—now, I can’t figure out if this is something I want to pursue or if I’m just scared of getting hurt again. I’ve had crushes before, but they’ve all ended up being complete failures. Yet, with him, it feels different, even if it’s still so new. I’m caught in a weird place between feeling something, but also being unsure if it’s just the emotional vulnerability of the moment.

To make things even messier, I’m currently in a relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now, but I fell out of love with him a long time ago. I can see it in his eyes that he still cares, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve been holding onto something that’s no longer there. And then, there’s this boy who, for some reason, makes me feel seen in ways I haven’t felt in a while. He’s easy to talk to, he’s funny, and he’s everything I’m looking for in someone, but I’m already tied down.

I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend still loves me, and I don’t want to break his heart, but I can’t keep pretending that I feel the same way anymore. But at the same time, I don’t want to mess things up with this new guy, who’s honestly just been kind to me. I don’t want to rush into anything, but I also don’t want to let go of something that could be real.

I feel stuck between two worlds—one where I know I should probably end things with my boyfriend, and the other where I’m terrified of jumping into something new with this guy. And I guess I don’t really know if I’m ready for either one.

I just wish I knew the right thing to do.