April 24, 2025
By: Naomi Lin

Growing up, my family wasn’t really physically affectionate. We hugged sometimes, but kissing—especially on the lips—was just… not a thing.

So when a family member kissed me on the lips, I froze.

I know in some families it’s completely normal. I’ve seen people greet their parents or siblings that way, and no one bats an eye. But in mine? It never happened. To me, a kiss on the lips has always carried a romantic undertone, or at the very least, a level of intimacy that felt out of place.

I didn’t say anything when it happened. I just kind of stood there, stunned and uncomfortable, while they acted like it was completely casual. But even now, when I think about it, I still feel the imprint of it. I still cringe. It still makes my stomach twist.

And maybe it wasn’t meant to be anything weird. Maybe it was innocent on their end. But I can’t help how it made me feel. I felt violated. Not in the loud, obvious, headline-making way. But in that quiet, confusing way where something just felt wrong and I didn’t have the words for it at the time.

I’ve never talked about it. Not to friends, not to family. I don’t even know what I’d say. But I think I needed to put it somewhere. So here it is.

If you’ve ever felt weird about something “normal” that happened to you—this is me saying I get it.

— Naomi Lin