April 25, 2025
by Casey Jordan Wells

Some days, it just hits harder than others. Like today.

I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I suck at life. I don’t have real friends—not the kind you can call at 2 AM when you’re spiraling. I moved away thinking it would be a fresh start, but honestly? I wish I’d never left California. I traded one kind of chaos for another, and all the old trauma followed me anyway. Like it packed a bag and moved right along with me.

All I want right now is to curl up in a ball, shut the world out, cry until I can’t anymore, and then numb myself with bad TV and way too much ice cream. That sounds so pathetic, I know. But it’s where I’m at.

I don’t want advice. I don’t want a pep talk. I just needed to get this off my chest. I’m tired of pretending I’m fine when everything inside me feels broken.