April 29, 2025 by Mason Trujillo

It’s funny how people from your past sneak into your present without you realizing it.

Back in year 6, I had this friend — she was smart, hilarious without even trying, a little chaotic in a way that made everything more exciting. She wasn’t perfect, but somehow, every memory I have of her feels golden, like it’s been polished by time.

We lost touch after school, like a lot of people do. Different paths, different lives. It’s been six years now. We’re both 20. And yet… I still catch myself comparing every person I meet to her.

It’s not something I do on purpose. It’s like my brain set her as the blueprint without asking me. The way she used to scrunch her nose when she laughed, the way she was unapologetically herself even when people didn’t get it — I guess that stuck with me more than I thought it would.

Every time I meet someone new, there’s this silent checklist in my head:
Do they have that same quick, easy laugh?
Do they look at the world like it’s something wild and beautiful instead of something to be survived?
Do they feel like home the way she did?

And the truth is… they usually don’t.

I know it’s not fair — not to them, not to me, not even to her. People change. I’m sure she has too. But some part of me is still chasing the version of her I knew back then, the version that made life feel lighter just by existing.

Maybe one day I’ll find someone who doesn’t have to match a ghost.
Maybe one day I’ll finally let that part of the past stay where it belongs.

But for now, she’s still there — in the back of my mind, quietly setting the standard without even knowing it.