Date: April 27, 2025

Author: Taylor W. Davis

I don’t know where to start. I feel so empty. There’s this heaviness that I can’t shake, no matter how much I try to distract myself. It’s not like I’m alone—I’m surrounded by people, but it doesn’t matter. I still feel isolated. The loneliness is always there, creeping in, even in the presence of company. I’ve tried different things to numb it, but I know deep down, substances don’t help. They just give me a temporary escape, and then I’m back to feeling worse than before.

The thing is, I’m unmedicated. I don’t even have a way to get the treatment I know I need, and that just adds to the weight. It’s like I’m stuck in this cycle that I can’t break out of. On top of everything else, I’m chronically ill, and there’s no real treatment plan in place. No solutions. Just endless days of feeling exhausted and defeated.

I don’t have the energy to keep fighting this. Some days, I honestly don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to keep struggling, but it feels like every day is harder than the last. I try to hold on, but the longer I go, the more I’m struggling just to stay.

It’s like I’m lost in a fog, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to find a way out of it. And it’s not for a lack of trying. I don’t know if anyone around me even sees how much I’m hurting, or if they can tell that I’m just barely holding it together.

But writing this out, just putting it out there, it feels like a small step. Maybe one day, I’ll find a way to make it through. But for now, I’m just here—tired and trying to get through another day.