April 28, 2025
by Sarah L. Williams
I’m 18, and I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds. Part of me feels incredibly guilty for even thinking this, but at the same time, I just can’t shake the feeling that my parents are too controlling. I love them, and I know they’ve done so much for me, but I can’t help but feel suffocated by their rules.
For example, I was literally forced to wear an abaya to attend college, and it wasn’t a choice. If I didn’t wear it, I wouldn’t be allowed to go. And the thing is, it’s not like I have a problem with the abaya itself, but the fact that it’s something that’s been imposed on me without any room to make my own decisions. I’m an adult, but it feels like I’m still being treated like a child.
On top of that, I can’t go out and hang out with my friends in the city. My younger brothers have all this freedom, but I don’t get the same treatment. I’ve worked hard for my money, but when I try to buy things I want, I get told no. Moving out is not even an option, even though I know I’m old enough to do so.
I watch other teens my age who seem to have so much more freedom, and it makes me feel like a loser. They have healthy relationships with their parents, ones where they can talk openly and make their own choices. Meanwhile, I feel like I can’t even express how I feel without my mom getting mad at me.
It’s like I’m stuck in this weird in-between stage, where I’m not fully an adult but I’m also not a child anymore. I don’t know how to find a balance or how to move forward from here. Sometimes, I just wish I could live my life without constantly feeling guilty about wanting more independence.
