Date: April 27, 2025

Author: Alyssa Matthews

It’s been over a year since I ended things with him, but I still can’t seem to move on. We dated for five months, but those months felt like both a lifetime and a blink of an eye. He was everything I thought I wanted—charming, funny, and someone I believed cared about me. But as time went on, I started to see the cracks. He flirted with other girls, cheated on me, and would never prioritize me. I was always second, always wondering if I was good enough. Yet, despite all the pain, I loved him unconditionally. All I ever wanted was to be loved in return, but that was something I never got from him.

After we broke up, he moved on quickly. Within two weeks, he was in a relationship with someone else. It hurt like hell to see him so easily move on, while I was left trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. It’s been months, and I see him with her now—he seems to be treating her the way I always wished he’d treated me. And it kills me, every single day.

I try to tell myself that I deserve better, that I shouldn’t want someone who treated me the way he did, but the truth is, I miss him. I miss the version of him that made me feel special. I miss the moments we shared, even though I know deep down they were tainted by his manipulation and lies. I know I should let go, but it’s hard when I still think about him every day.

I feel stuck, torn between the person he was and the person I know he is now. I want to move on. I want to let go of the past and heal, but it’s not that easy. Some days, it feels like I’m never going to be able to get over him, and I don’t know what to do.