Author: Samuel Bennett

Date: April 27, 2025

When I said my vows on the day of my wedding, I promised to cherish and protect my wife for better or for worse. At the time, I never anticipated how “worse” would look.

It started with a car accident just a few months after we were married. My wife, Grace, was hurt badly. The physical recovery took a while, but the real challenge came in the aftermath—her health started to deteriorate in ways we couldn’t understand. A series of illnesses made it impossible for her to function the way she had before. It wasn’t just the pain, it was the way it crept into every aspect of her life. Simple tasks became overwhelming, and what used to be a happy, vibrant woman became someone who was constantly tired, often in pain, and needing help with things I had never imagined needing to help her with.

It affected everything. Our intimacy was one of the first things to go. I tried to be understanding, knowing that she wasn’t in control of her body anymore. It hurt her physically, and as much as I missed that closeness, I never once questioned my commitment to her. It was just part of the deal. Life doesn’t always go as planned, but I was determined to stand by her through all of it.

I told myself that I could handle it. That this was just a season, and I would support her the best I could. But after years of this new normal, something changed. Grace started to feel guilty about our lack of intimacy. She was torn up over the idea that I was going without, and she didn’t want me to suffer because of her health issues. One evening, over dinner, she looked at me and said, “I think you should see other women. I can’t be the wife you need, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out.”

I was taken aback. I tried to assure her that it wasn’t a big deal, that I was happy being with her and I didn’t need anyone else. But she wouldn’t drop it. She kept saying how she didn’t want me to feel bad, how she wanted me to find joy outside of our relationship.

At first, I was confused. Was she really telling me to cheat? Why would she even think that was something I would want to do? But she seemed insistent. Soon after, things started to feel even stranger. Grace began inviting women over, women I had never met, and then she would leave the house, telling me to enjoy myself. She was trying to “hook me up” with strangers.

I didn’t know what to think. It felt wrong. Not just because it went against everything I believed in, but because it didn’t seem like it was her idea anymore—it was almost like she had convinced herself that it was the only way to solve the problem. I don’t know if she just wanted to feel less guilty about her own limitations, or if she thought it would make me happier, but it was deeply uncomfortable. I wasn’t interested in being with anyone else. I made vows to her, and I meant those vows.

What was worse, though, was that I wasn’t sure how to stop this. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I didn’t want to betray her either. I knew she loved me, and I loved her, but the situation was putting a strain on everything. She was trying to do something “good” for me, but I felt like it was all turning into something deeply confusing and emotionally damaging.

I haven’t gone through with it, obviously. I can’t. It’s not just the physical act; it’s the violation of what we promised each other. I need to talk to her, but every time I bring it up, she just seems to get more insistent, more distant. It’s like she’s convincing herself that this is what I need.

So now, I’m left wondering how I can put an end to this madness without breaking her heart. I know that what she’s doing comes from a place of love and selflessness, but I can’t help feeling like this is a slippery slope. What do I do when love itself is pushing me in a direction I don’t want to go?

If anyone has been through something like this, I would really appreciate some advice. Because right now, I feel like I’m walking a very fine line.