April 25, 2025
by Olivia Mae Clarke

I can’t even begin to explain how much it hurts. I broke my own heart. I ended things with the guy I love. The guy I’ve been giving so much of myself to. I wanted to choose myself, I told myself it was the right decision. But now that it’s done, all I feel is emptiness.

I tried to love him the best I could. I bought him things, helped him out financially every month, gave him my time and energy — hoping, maybe desperately, that one day he’d show me the same kind of love in return. But it never came. He’d say “I love you,” but it never felt real. Every time I tried to express my feelings, to tell him how alone I felt in this relationship, he would act like I was attacking him, starting an argument. It hurt more than anything else, to be misunderstood by the one person I cared about most.

After months of feeling like this, I finally made the hardest choice of my life. I asked him to break up. I thought it was what I needed. But when he just said, “I see, if that’s what you want. I hope you’re happy,” it felt like a punch to the gut. He didn’t fight for us. He didn’t even try.

And now here I am, crying myself to sleep every night, wondering if I made the right choice. I know I needed to choose myself, but right now, all I feel is the weight of that decision, and it’s crushing me.