April 22, 2025
By Julia Reynolds

This might sound a little silly, but I’m kind of irritated with my guy friend right now. Not in a big, dramatic way, but enough to make me question everything I’ve always said about friendships between guys and girls.

I’ve always complained to him about how in my past friendships with guys, things would always get weird. It’s like, no matter how much I just wanted a platonic relationship, they’d catch feelings. Then everything would get awkward, and eventually, our friendship would fall apart. I hated that. I hated the idea that a simple friendship couldn’t exist without someone eventually making it complicated and uncomfortable.

So, yeah, I knew how ironic this would sound if he ever caught feelings for me. But now he has, and it’s just… frustrating. I know he can’t really help it—it’s not like he did it on purpose—but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve become exactly what I’ve always complained about. He’s now the thing I warned him about.

I just wanted a guy friend who could stay my friend without turning it into something else. I wanted someone who didn’t make me feel like we had to constantly navigate uncomfortable moments. I wanted to feel like I could have a genuine friendship with a guy without any hidden agendas or expectations.

I guess it’s a little bit of my own fault for saying those things out loud to him all the time. I’ve realized now that maybe I set up some sort of expectation for him that was unrealistic. But still, I can’t help feeling frustrated that the one person I hoped wouldn’t turn into “that guy” ended up doing exactly that.