Author: Jason T. Miller

April 22, 2025

Alright, buckle up, because this one’s a doozy. I was 12 years old and, let’s be honest, I was a dumb kid. I don’t know what kind of genius idea crossed my mind that day, but I sure as hell wasn’t thinking straight.

It was a birthday party at my aunt’s house. You know, one of those family gatherings where everyone’s a bit too loud, and there’s way too much cake and awkward small talk. But somewhere in the chaos, I spotted it—shiny, sleek, and sitting there like it was just begging for someone to take it. A laptop. Yeah, you heard that right. I decided, for reasons I can’t even begin to explain, that it was going to be mine.

I had a few cousins there, younger than me, and for whatever reason, they were all in. I pitched my “master plan” to them like I was some criminal mastermind—keep in mind, this was literally a heist to steal a laptop from a family member’s house. Maybe I watched too many movies.

Anyway, I somehow convinced them to help me pull it off. We managed to get a bag, something that would work as a cover, and with that, the operation was a go. My cousins were like accomplices, keeping a lookout while I casually grabbed the laptop, slid it into the bag, and casually made my way towards the door. Honestly, it felt like I was in a damn heist movie, just walking out of there with no one noticing. Like, I thought I was invincible.

Here’s the kicker, though. As I’m walking towards the door with the laptop in hand, I see my dad’s brother (let’s call him Uncle Dave) watching me. I thought for sure I was done for. But nope. He didn’t even bat an eye. Probably didn’t pay attention to the fact that I was casually walking out with a laptop in a bag that clearly didn’t belong to me. I walked straight past him, heart racing, thinking I’d gotten away with it.

I slipped the stolen goods into the backseat of the car like I was some kind of professional thief. Mission accomplished. Or so I thought.

Fast forward to us getting home. The whole car ride, I was trying to calm myself down, but the adrenaline was too much. As soon as we reached home, the anxiety hit. I started getting vulnerable. I don’t know what came over me, but suddenly, the guilt kicked in, and I felt like I was going to explode. I wanted to open the backseat and get the laptop out right there, but my hands were shaking. My whole family was acting normal, but I was freaking out internally.

When I finally opened the car door and pulled out the laptop, my entire family started questioning me. “Where did you get that? What’s in the bag?” My heart dropped. I started to panic. How was I going to explain this? I was cornered. The laptop was still in my hands, the stolen prize.

I don’t even know how I managed to avoid getting caught right there on the spot. But somehow, I did. My family didn’t know, and they probably didn’t suspect a thing. I was a mess, but I just acted like nothing was wrong. To this day, it still haunts me that I did that. I don’t even know why I thought I could get away with it, especially from a family member.

Eventually, the guilt ate at me. I never told anyone, and I never ended up using that laptop. Eventually, I just shoved it somewhere and forgot about it. But looking back, I still can’t believe I did something so stupid.