By Rachel Jacobs
April 28, 2025

I guess I always thought that when I started embracing my style—bright colors, frilly skirts, oversized bows and all—that I’d feel more seen. Maybe that sounds silly, but I figured if I looked cute enough, people would start noticing me in a way that was more than just surface-level. I mean, I put a lot of effort into how I look. I choose my outfits carefully, down to the smallest detail. I make sure my makeup is just right, and I even take extra time to get my hair perfect. I do it because it makes me feel good, but also because I want people to notice me, to see me for who I am beyond just… cute clothes.

The thing is, it doesn’t really feel like anyone does. I hear it all the time—”Oh, you look like a doll!” or “I love your outfit!” But those aren’t the kinds of compliments I need. I don’t need to be told that my clothes are cute or that I look like I stepped out of a toy box. It’s like everyone sees me as this walking, talking dress-up doll, but no one seems to notice me as a person.

It’s frustrating because I’m constantly telling my friends how beautiful they are. I hear other girls get praised in the bathroom or at lunch—“You look so pretty today!” or “Your hair is amazing, wow!” And then there’s me, sitting in the corner, hoping someone will just say something like that to me for once. But they don’t. Not unless I point it out myself. Then, it’s always a half-hearted, “Aw, you’re so cute,” or “I love your outfit.”

It stings, you know? I feel like my friends are being seen for their real beauty, and I’m being seen as just a walking accessory. I mean, don’t get me wrong—I’m grateful for the compliments. But it’s hard when they feel so surface-level, like they’re just commenting on the fabric of my clothes and not the person wearing them. I want to hear someone say, “You look so beautiful,” like they mean it. Not because I called attention to myself, but because they really see me for who I am, beyond the frills and lace.

I guess it makes me feel ugly. Not ugly in the way you’d think, but just… invisible. Like my personality doesn’t matter as much as what I’m wearing. And when that happens, it makes me question if what I wear is even what people notice about me, or if it just distracts them from the real me.

I know I sound dramatic, and maybe I’m overthinking it, but sometimes it feels like I’m just a doll in a dress. And I’m so much more than that. I wish someone would see that.

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