Date: April 27, 2025

Author: Nathan R. Pierce

I don’t even know where to begin. My head has been spinning ever since I found out about my wife. We’ve been married for a little over two years now, and to be honest, I never thought I’d be in this position. She’s always been the woman I dreamed of. Beautiful, smart, and so full of life. But lately, I’ve noticed some things that just don’t add up.

It started a few weeks ago when I came across a text message. It wasn’t one of those innocuous messages you’d expect. No, this one was different. It was a message from an old friend of mine—a guy I hadn’t heard from in years. My wife had been in touch with him more than I thought she should be. As soon as I saw his name, I felt a pit in my stomach.

I didn’t jump to conclusions right away. I needed proof, and I was careful about how I went about it. But the more I dug, the more I realized that something had shifted between us. For months now, things hadn’t felt the same. Sex, especially. I noticed she was distant, like she wasn’t fully present during our intimate moments. At first, I blamed myself, wondering if I was doing something wrong.

You see, when we first got married, we were both so excited to explore and experiment with each other. We tried different positions, explored what worked best for both of us. Reverse cowgirl was her favorite. She used to tell me how much she loved it, how good it felt, but we always had trouble with it. Every time we’d get into the rhythm, I’d slip out. It was frustrating for both of us, but I did my best to keep going, to make sure she was satisfied. I’d apologize, but she was always understanding—at least, I thought she was.

But as the months passed, I noticed her desire to try new things slowly dwindling. She began pulling away from me emotionally, which only made me more self-conscious. I’ve always been aware that I’m not the biggest guy out there. I’m average, but she’s never made it seem like it mattered until recently. I’ve heard her talk about her ex-husband a few times, but I’ve always brushed it off. Now, I wonder if there’s a reason she brings him up so often.

One night, I found out what had really been happening. She’s been seeing him—my old friend. The one I trusted, the one I thought I could rely on. Turns out, he’s everything I’m not. He’s fit, athletic, and, well, let’s just say he’s got the kind of endowment that I could never compete with. And now, he’s the one she turns to.

I can’t even describe how it feels to know this. I feel betrayed, not just by her, but by someone I used to call a friend. The worst part? I don’t even know where I fit into her life now. All these insecurities I’ve had about not being enough suddenly make sense. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but there’s no easy way to bring up something like this without sounding like I’m accusing her.

She keeps saying she loves me, but it feels hollow now. Trust, for me, has always been the foundation of any relationship. Without that, what are we even doing? I’m not sure if we can recover from this. Every day feels like we’re drifting further apart, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending like everything’s okay.

I thought we’d be able to work through things, but the truth is, I’m not sure we can. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the same way about her again. And honestly, I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to forgive her—or myself.