Date: April 27, 2025
Author: Thomas Ellis

I’m currently in the first month of my porn addiction recovery, and I’ve been experiencing all the psychological withdrawal symptoms that come with it. For years, I didn’t even realize how much of an addiction it was. It started out semi-innocently, I guess. Watching here and there, but nothing too extreme. But over time, it became something I couldn’t control.

I bought NSFW toys in the past, and at the time, I didn’t think it was a big deal. But then I discovered r34, and that’s when everything started spiraling out of control. The content was intense, and I couldn’t stop myself from diving deeper into it.

Before long, I was heavily involved in ERP’s, and the experience of chatting with people there felt like a release. But that quickly turned into something unhealthy. The fantasies I entertained became more unnatural, the compulsive behaviors more frequent. I started acting out things I never thought I would, and it felt like I was trapped in a cycle I couldn’t break free from.

I’m only a month into recovery, but I’m already feeling the weight of the withdrawal. The thoughts, the urges — they’re still there. And as much as I know I need to get better, it’s hard to ignore how deeply this has affected me. I just want to break free, but it feels like there’s a part of me still yearning for that escape. I know it’s unhealthy, and I regret where it has taken me. I just hope one day I’ll feel normal again.