By: Lily Bennett – April 30, 2025

There’s a secret I’ve been holding onto for years, one that I’ve never been able to share with anyone. I’ve been terrified of what people would think if they knew the truth, so I’ve kept it to myself. But I can’t carry it anymore. So here it is.

I’ve been in love with my best friend for as long as I can remember. We’ve known each other since childhood, and throughout the years, we’ve shared everything. We’ve laughed together, cried together, been each other’s support system. But somewhere along the way, something shifted for me. I started to see her in a way that I never had before.

The problem is, she’s straight. I know she’s not interested in me that way, and I’ve never told her how I feel. Every time I look at her, I feel this weight in my chest—this mix of longing and heartbreak. I’m afraid that if I tell her, I’ll ruin our friendship forever. I don’t want to lose her, but I also can’t keep pretending that I don’t love her.

I’ve been in relationships since then, trying to move on, but no one compares to her. She’s the one I think about when I’m alone, the one I imagine a future with. But every time I try to talk to her about it, the words get stuck in my throat.

It’s hard, because I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to be stuck in this one-sided love. But at the same time, I don’t know how to let go. I’m still trying to figure out how to be okay with this—how to be okay with loving someone I can never have.