By Maya Sinclair

April 28, 2025

I’ve been sitting here for hours, staring at the screen, trying to find the right words to say. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d be doing this today, but here I am, finally typing out what I’ve been too afraid to admit to myself for so long. From this point on, I’ve decided I’m going to write you a message here. It might not make sense, or it might be hard to understand, but I need to let this out.

I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to bury these feelings deep down inside, hoping they’d go away, but they just won’t. It’s like they’re stuck in my chest, and every time I try to move on, they keep resurfacing. You don’t even know, but I think about you more than I’d like to admit. It feels like I’m standing on the edge of something, something I’m too scared to jump into, yet I can’t stop thinking about it.

I know this might embarrass you if you ever find out, and that’s the last thing I want. But I can’t carry this around anymore. I cherish everything I feel for you, even if it makes me anxious. Maybe it’s silly, maybe it’s just a fleeting thing, but every time I see you or hear your voice, something in me stirs. And I hate that it does because I know I shouldn’t feel this way.

This whole situation I’m in, it’s not something I can just walk away from. I’ve tried to push my feelings aside, tried to convince myself that they’ll fade, that I’ll forget about you eventually. But I don’t think I will. Maybe one day I’ll look back and laugh at how foolish I was, or maybe I’ll look back and be thankful that I allowed myself to feel something so real, even if it hurt.

I just needed you to know. Maybe this won’t change anything. Maybe it will make things even more complicated. But either way, I couldn’t keep hiding it any longer. I don’t know where this feeling will go, or if it’ll just fade away with time. But for now, this is what I’m left with.

And I guess I’ll just have to see what happens next.