By Sarah Brooks

April 27, 2025

I’ve been married for 10 years. A decade. And for most of it, I thought everything was fine. I thought I had everything I needed—a partner I loved and a life I was building. But things change, and I didn’t realize how much until now.

My husband works in a different town, and it’s been like this for years. The problem is, the town he works in isn’t exactly safe politically. He comes home every few weeks, but even when he’s here, it’s like we’re living in separate worlds. He’s tired, often stressed, and honestly, when he comes home, the last thing he wants to do is spend time with me—emotionally or physically. It’s like I’m invisible to him, and I can’t help but feel like a stranger in my own marriage.

I stopped feeling the desire for him a long time ago. I didn’t even realize how much I missed intimacy, real connection, until recently.

Then, out of nowhere, I met someone. A man who completely caught my attention. He wasn’t like my husband. He actually listened to me, made me feel seen. It wasn’t just about the physical attraction—it was the emotional connection. He understood my frustration, the loneliness I’ve been living with, and we both found ourselves in the same place, craving something we hadn’t had in so long.

I couldn’t resist him. And I’m not proud of it, but I ended up sleeping with him. I’ve never felt so guilty. I’ve never questioned myself more than I do now. I can’t help but feel like I betrayed my husband, even though he hasn’t been around enough to even notice. But I know what I did was wrong, and it eats at me every day. I feel like I ruined everything for a fleeting moment of comfort.

But here’s the strange part: this new guy, as much as I regret what happened, has been the only person to make me feel seen in years. He makes me feel respected and valued in ways that I haven’t felt in so long. And that feels… safe. It feels like a light in the darkness I’ve been living in.

What hurts the most is that he, too, is living a similar life. His partner is also in a different town, and like me, he’s sex-starved, emotionally disconnected. We’re both in this frustrating place, where we’ve been neglected in ways we can’t ignore. But despite all of this, he has so much respect for me, more than I’ve ever felt from anyone in a long time. He understands me in ways that I didn’t think anyone could.

I wish I could say I don’t regret what happened, but I do. I wish I could turn back time and fix the situation before it even happened. But the truth is, I don’t know how to undo the loneliness, the emotional strain that I’ve carried for so long. The guilt is overwhelming, but I also feel like I’ve finally found someone who sees me—not just as a wife, not just as someone to be neglected, but as a person.

I don’t know where this will lead. I don’t even know if I can go back and fix my marriage. But what I do know is that I can’t continue living in this silence, this emptiness. I can’t keep ignoring the parts of me that need attention, care, and respect.

I just wish there was an easy answer. But for now, I’m stuck with the choices I’ve made and the person I’m becoming.