By: Emma Kelly

April 27, 2025

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the kind of person who just wants to make others happy. I’m a people pleaser, through and through, always putting others’ needs before my own. It’s a habit I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember, and it’s caused me to make decisions I wouldn’t have normally made. One of the toughest situations I’ve ever faced involves my best friend, the one I’ve known since childhood.

She’s always been so close to me, and over the years, my feelings for her grew into something more than just friendship. I’ve been in love with her for six years, quietly holding onto that secret, never daring to confess because of our friendship. I knew she wasn’t into girls, or so I thought. But then one day, everything changed. I found out that she had developed feelings for a girl too, and I couldn’t believe it. My heart raced, and I thought, finally—this is my chance. This could be the moment where everything I’ve imagined comes true.

I’ve been doing things for her, small things to show how much I care, even though I’ve always been terrified that she’d never feel the same way. I bought her wireless headphones after she complained about hers, and I even wrote her a poem, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this would be enough for her to see me the way I’ve always seen her.

But life has this way of throwing curveballs, and just when I thought things might turn out the way I wanted, something unexpected happened. One of our mutual friends, someone who is genuinely sweet and caring, asked me out. She’s a lovely person, and while I do care for her, I don’t love her the way she loves me. But instead of saying no, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. She was so kind and open, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. So, I said yes.

Now, I find myself trapped in a situation where I’m stuck between two worlds. On one hand, there’s my crush on my best friend, a secret that feels like it’s eating me alive. On the other hand, there’s this sweet, caring friend who deserves someone who can love her the way she loves me. I never meant for things to get so complicated, but here I am, caught in a web of confusion, guilt, and longing.

I just want to make the right choice, but I don’t even know what that is anymore. I never imagined that being a people pleaser would lead me to this place—feeling torn between two people I care about, and not knowing how to move forward without hurting anyone in the process. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do next. I just want to be honest with myself, and with them, but that’s easier said than done.

– Emma Kelly