Date: April 27, 2025
Author: Emily Sanders

I’ve been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now, and things have been great. We’re close, we trust each other, and I love him. But there’s something that’s been eating at me for the past few months, and it’s causing a lot of internal conflict. There’s this neighbor of mine—he’s 20, and every time I see him, I can’t help but notice how incredibly attractive he is. I rarely see him, but when I do, we exchange these glances that make it clear that we both feel the attraction. And the worst part? He’s my boyfriend’s cousin’s best friend, and they hang out together all the time.

Ever since the summer, I’ve been having dreams about him. Not necessarily dirty dreams, but dreams where he likes me and I wonder what that would be like. And honestly, I can’t seem to shake it. These dreams have been constant, almost every night, and it’s stressing me out. The guilt is overwhelming because I sleep on call with my boyfriend every night, and whenever I wake up from one of those dreams, I feel this intense guilt. I end up telling him about the dreams because I don’t want to hide anything from him, but I also feel horrible for even thinking about someone else, especially when I love him.

I’m so torn, and it feels like I’m stuck between loyalty and temptation. The worst part is that my neighbor and my boyfriend are friends, which makes everything so much more complicated. I feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend every time these feelings come up, but I can’t control the dreams, and the attraction is real, even though I know nothing is going to happen between me and the neighbor.

I just don’t know what to do. I care about my boyfriend so much, and I don’t want to hurt him. But these feelings for my neighbor are confusing, and I’m scared they’re going to keep messing with my head. I know I need to figure this out before it starts to affect my relationship with my boyfriend more than it already has.