Date: April 29, 2025

Author: Julian Marcus Everett

For the last three and a half years, I’ve been a ghost in my own job. I work remotely for a logistics company, and my role? It’s practically nonexistent. I log on each morning, check my emails (usually just spam or FYI threads), update a couple of dashboards, and then… nothing. By noon, I’m free to do whatever I want. Except I don’t want anything anymore.

When I first started, I was proactive. I’d ping my boss, asking for more tasks, volunteering for projects. But every time, it was the same: “Things are slow right now, just keep doing what you’re doing.” So I did. And now, I’m stuck in this weird limbo where I’m paid to exist, not to work. Sounds like a fantasy, right? It’s not. It’s a slow-motion train wreck.

I’m 32, and I feel like I’m wasting my life. I used to be ambitious, always tinkering with new ideas, teaching myself graphic design, even dreaming of starting my own business. Now, I can’t even muster the energy to finish a Netflix series. I know I should be using this time to grow—learn a new skill, network, something—but I just… don’t. I’ll sit down with a plan, then end up doomscrolling or napping.

Looking for a new job feels impossible. My portfolio is stale, my confidence is shot, and I dread interviews because I have nothing to say. “What have you been working on lately?” haunts me. The truth is, I’ve been working on surviving my own boredom. I want to break out of this cycle, to feel useful again, but it’s like I’m paralyzed. I’m not sure how to start over, but I know I can’t keep drifting like this.