April 21, 2025 By Olivia Roberts

Sometimes, I wonder if you even think about me when you don’t need something. It’s always the same pattern: when the other options aren’t working out, when the conversations with everyone else have gone dry, that’s when I hear from you. A random text, a quick check-in, just enough to keep me around, just enough to keep me from fading away. It’s like I’m the backup plan—something you keep in your back pocket, just in case the others don’t measure up.

At first, it didn’t bother me. I thought maybe I was being dramatic, overthinking, or just being a little too sensitive. After all, you’re busy, right? People have their lives, their priorities. But then I started noticing the pattern. I started realizing that you only reach out when there’s no one else left. When the other options fall through. When I’m the last person you can count on.

And it stings. It really does. Not because I’m some saint or perfect person, but because I give you everything. I listen to your problems, I laugh at your jokes, I try to make you feel like you matter, even when you forget that I do. And yet, I’m only worth something to you when no one else is around.

But here’s the thing: I’m not mad about it. Not really. Maybe a little. But mostly, I’m just… tired. Tired of feeling like an afterthought, tired of being the “just in case” option. What hurts the most is that you don’t even see it. You don’t see that I’m here, quietly hoping for something more than just a placeholder. Something real, something that doesn’t feel like I’m being kept in reserve until all your other choices are exhausted.

I’m not asking for much. Just a little bit of love. Just a tiny bit of effort. Something that tells me I matter when you don’t need anything from me. But maybe that’s asking too much. Maybe I’m just not worth that kind of consideration.

I won’t say it out loud. I won’t complain to you. But every time I get a text from you now, I can’t help but wonder if you’d even remember me if there wasn’t something you needed. Would I still be on your mind if I didn’t fill the gaps? Would I still be someone you’d want to talk to if the others were around? It’s just hard to believe sometimes, when I feel like I’m only worth something when the other options don’t pan out.

But I guess I’ll keep waiting. Maybe one day you’ll realize that I deserve more than being an afterthought. Or maybe I’ll learn that it’s okay to stop waiting for something that never comes.