April 24, 2025
By Emily Carter

If you were to ask me about my dream future, I think it would be so simple, so perfect. I imagine marrying my best friend. I picture us happy, together, safe. We’d live in this cozy, vintage house with windows that let the sun in all day long, plants scattered around every room, and a little garden in the back. We’d have a couple of pet rabbits hopping around and a cat curling up by the window. Maybe a few kids running through the yard.

I’d want it to be a home that felt alive, filled with the things that make us feel comfortable. And in the corner of the living room, there’d be a grand piano. She’d be able to dance whenever she felt like it—no worries about space, no limits on how much room she needed to express herself.

I want that so badly. More than anything. I want to give that to her, to us.

But, it feels like a distant dream. I can’t help but feel like I’m holding back. Why can’t I just love her the way I know I do? Why does it feel like the universe keeps putting up walls around us? I don’t know what’s stopping me from reaching out, from telling her exactly how I feel.

It’s like this constant ache inside me, a longing for something that feels so out of reach, like it’s not meant to happen yet. I wonder, am I just fooling myself? Or am I just not ready for what that kind of love would really mean?

Why can’t I let myself love her the way I want to? Why does it feel like that’s not allowed right now?

I wish I could understand what’s holding me back. But right now, all I can do is hold onto this dream of a future we might never have. And hope that maybe, just maybe, it will come one day.