Author: Amelia Fitzgerald

Date: April 27, 2025

When the Johnsons moved in next door, I barely paid attention. It was a small neighborhood, and I had my own routine—school, family, and everything else in between. But that all changed when my uncle passed away unexpectedly. It was the kind of loss that hit hard, and I was struggling to cope with the grief. At the funeral, I met Ethan, the boy next door, for the first time.

I hadn’t really noticed him before, but there he was, standing quietly by the corner, looking out of place, just like I felt. He was around my age, maybe a year younger, but something about the way he seemed so isolated struck a chord in me. We ended up talking, both of us awkwardly navigating the emotional landscape of the funeral. I didn’t expect much, but somehow, it felt easier to talk to him than anyone else in that moment.

Ethan was different—soft-spoken, but attentive. After the funeral, we started hanging out more. At first, I didn’t really like how clingy he was. He would always text me, wanting to hang out or talk, and I just couldn’t deal with that kind of attention. I wasn’t used to it, and I found it annoying, honestly. But over time, his constant presence became something I needed. It was like he was a safe space I didn’t know I was craving.

When his parents got jobs far away and moved even closer—right in front of our house—it was like the universe was pushing us together. We spent more time together than ever before. Soon, I was spending nights at his place, playing video games until the sun came up. We’d laugh about everything and nothing, and the time felt effortless, like we were in our own little world. My parents weren’t happy about me staying there so much, but I didn’t care. They didn’t get it. I was free when I was with him. It felt like a temporary escape from everything else, from the grief I was still carrying.

We didn’t talk about it much, but I could feel myself getting closer to him. Not just as a friend, but in a way I wasn’t prepared for. Every morning, I’d wake up next to him, sometimes with his arm around me, and I started to think it felt normal. Comfortable. I didn’t realize it then, but the lines between friendship and something more were blurring, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

Then, one night, everything changed. I was at his place, scrolling through my phone, when I noticed his phone was lying on the couch. It buzzed, and I couldn’t help but glance at the screen. I knew I shouldn’t, but curiosity got the best of me. It was a conversation between Ethan and his mom. They were talking about plans for the future, and something about them seemed off. It was the way she mentioned they were leaving soon, going back to live with his grandparents. She said something about how it would be a “fresh start,” and how much she was looking forward to it.

I froze. My heart sank. I had no idea they were planning to leave, especially not after everything that had been happening. We’d spent so much time together, and the thought of him leaving was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t want to face it, but I knew I had to ask him.

The next time we were alone, I brought it up. “Ethan, I saw the messages. Are you really leaving? Is that true?”

His face immediately changed. It was like I’d just pulled the rug out from under him. For a second, he didn’t say anything. Then, he looked away, almost as if he was trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. “I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want things to be weird between us.”

I was confused, hurt, and more than a little bit angry. “You’re leaving and you didn’t tell me? After everything, after all this time we’ve spent together?”

He didn’t have an answer. He just shrugged, like it was nothing. But it wasn’t nothing to me. I had gotten so attached, maybe more than I should have, and the idea of him just disappearing without warning hit me harder than I ever expected.

Things got awkward after that conversation. I tried to stay calm, but it felt like the ground had shifted beneath me. The truth was, I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. Did I want him to stay? Did I want things to go back to how they were before? Or was this something I had to let go of before it dragged me down?

I didn’t have the answers. I still don’t. But sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever get over the way it felt when everything changed so suddenly—when comfort turned into chaos, and I was left wondering if I had given my heart away to someone who was already planning to leave.