April 21, 2025
by Alexis Walker

I’m exhausted. And honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore.

For five years, we’ve been living with my husband’s family. We got married, and from day one, it’s been about his family. His mom’s cancer, his sister’s issues, his brother’s drama. I get it, I do. Family matters, and I’ve always tried to be supportive, even when it meant taking a backseat to everything in our life together.

But now? Now he wants me to prioritize our wedding again—like it’s supposed to be a celebration of us when it feels like we’ve been living in the shadow of his family this entire time. It’s like I’m always second to them, and I’ve just kept quiet about it, tried to be understanding. But lately, it’s just too much.

And here’s the kicker: He’s angry with me for wanting to spend time with my family. He had a huge falling out with my brother and mom, and now? He doesn’t want our 4-year-old son anywhere near them. Doesn’t want him talking to them. I know my family isn’t perfect, and they’ve made mistakes, but they’re my family. They’re the ones I’ve known my whole life, and just because they’ve messed up doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a chance.

But it feels so hypocritical. He’s spent the last five years putting his family first, using the excuse that his mom’s cancer needs to be the priority. But now, when it’s my turn—when I want to make sure my family is a part of our son’s life—suddenly it’s a problem. Suddenly, it’s about what he wants, and what’s best for his family.

Am I supposed to wait until my mom has cancer to get the same care and attention from him? Am I supposed to just sit back and pretend that it’s okay for me to be last in his life, while he’s always been first in mine?

I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter. Like I’m constantly fighting to be seen, to be prioritized, to have some kind of balance between our families. I’ve tried so hard to be understanding, but I don’t know how much more I can give without it breaking me.