Author: Benjamin A. Pierce

April 22, 2025

I’ve lived with my mom for most of my life, and she’s always been that quiet type. You know the kind—keeps to herself, never starts trouble, and certainly doesn’t go out of her way to bother anyone. The type of neighbor you don’t even realize you have, unless you need a cup of sugar or something.

But not everyone appreciates that. Enter Mr. Smug, our new neighbor, who decided to make a mountain out of a molehill just because he could. A few months ago, he reported my mom to the city for having an “illegal shed” in our backyard. I swear, when I heard about it, I thought, “Is he for real?”

First off, the shed has been there for YEARS, and it has the proper permits. The inspector came by, checked everything out, and left without saying a word. No issues. But my neighbor, the one who’s only been around for a few months, thought he’d be the hero of the neighborhood by reporting us. He was smug, confident, and downright pleased with himself as if he’d pulled off some major victory.

I won’t lie, I was irritated. Not just because of his assumption that we were breaking any rules, but because it was a total waste of everyone’s time. The nerve of him to try and mess with my mom like that—someone who’s literally never caused a problem for anyone.

But you know what they say: don’t mess with someone’s family, especially when they’re trying to mind their own business. I wasn’t about to let him think he could walk around acting like the neighborhood sheriff without consequences. So I decided to do a little digging of my own.

Turns out, our neighbor had something of a questionable situation in his own backyard: a massive pool—one worth an estimated $40,000. Guess what? It wasn’t exactly up to code. In fact, it was a bit… iffy. Not to mention, it hadn’t gone through all the proper channels for permits, and there were a few things about the installation that seemed, well, “questionable.”

Now, I’m not one to start trouble, but I couldn’t resist. I knew that if I reported it to the city, he’d be in a world of hurt. After all, if he was so quick to involve the authorities over something as trivial as a shed that had been there for ages, he should be held to the same standard, right?

So I did it. I reported the pool.

The city sent someone out to inspect it, and to his surprise, they found a number of issues with the pool’s construction. No surprise there. They issued a few fines and orders to fix the issues—or risk having it filled in. Now, I wasn’t the one who made the decision to fill it in, but once the city gave him the option to repair it or face major consequences, I was more than happy to watch as the whole thing fell apart.

You see, I didn’t have to do anything except report the truth. The pool was already a massive headache for him, and that was enough to make him realize that being a “neighborhood watchdog” wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

I know what you’re probably thinking—revenge, right? It sounds petty, but honestly, it was satisfying. My mom was never in any danger of losing her shed, but the fact that my neighbor got a taste of his own medicine? It was kind of sweet. He probably didn’t expect someone like me to fight back, but I wasn’t about to let him bully us into submission.

So, the pool’s gone. And while I didn’t exactly plan to get involved in city politics or become the neighborhood “troublemaker,” I can’t help but feel a little smug myself. If you mess with my family, don’t be surprised when I hit back—especially if you’re sitting on a $40K pool that wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.

Lesson learned, buddy.