April 25, 2025
by Lila Grace Turner

I lost all my close friends. They weren’t good for me, and I knew I had to let them go. But now, I feel so alone. It’s hard to even explain. I’m stuck in this place where I’ve lost the people I once relied on, and I can’t shake the emptiness that comes with it.

I had goals — things I wanted to accomplish, dreams I once believed in. But now? I can barely get myself to try. Every time I think about doing something, the weight of self-doubt kicks in. I’m scared. Scared that I’m going to disappoint myself, my parents, and even God. I just keep questioning if I’m enough, if I’m doing the right thing.

I know I can make friends in the right settings. I’m friendly, I’m funny, and I try my best to be kind. But then there’s the anxiety. It grips me when I try to talk to people, and I end up freezing or not being able to act like myself. It’s like there’s this wall between me and everyone else, and no matter how hard I try to knock it down, it’s always there.

I want to get better, I want to feel whole again, but I don’t know how to push through this feeling. It’s exhausting to feel so stuck, to want connection but feel so distant from everyone.